win's log book

Random thoughts

2012-01-25T17:36:00.000+13:00

I'm happy for a friend who passed his viva recently and we share the same phd supervisor(Prof Eric)...So Nick (Dr.Craddock Henry)...Congratulations!

At work

2011-12-20T21:20:00.000+13:00

It has been 20 days since I reported for duty at the Faculty and I still don’t have an office….am still waiting and hoping that I’ll get my old room back but the person in charge tells me, due to some administrative reasons, Ill have to wait… Teaching wise, I haven’t been assigned any subjects yet as its the middle of the academic semester but our head of department (HOD) has asked me to assist in one of the TRP studios taught by my good friend Dr Puziah...As for next semester, I may be assigned another studio and a Master’s subject (?)…Meanwhile I’m lucky that my other good friend Zana who is working on her PhD thesis at home lets me use her office... UiTM limits access to FB and other ‘social’ networks..guessing it is a good idea but am not really sure why…

One study hurdle over for the time being Alhamdulillah

2011-11-25T23:19:00.000+13:00

Today at 3:40 pm Friday 25th of November 2011, I submitted my thesis to the Post Graduate (PG) Office and they will send it to the examiner: one in the UK and the other in NZ but not from my uni though.... I thank Allah s.w.t for giving me that opportunity. I feel glad about going over this ‘hurdle’ but I know this journey isn’t over yet. I had a lot of help today from my new friend Yanti with converting the work from words to PDF, which made printing all the chapters much easier because the figures and photos stayed where it should be...I almost thought I wouldn’t be able to submit as the office was about to close at 4pm...Alhamdulillah, Allah is most merciful and kind and I managed to reach the office with Yanti ...Alhamdulillah....I cannot bear to go home thinking about my dear husband and children's faces if I did not send the thesis in by today.... now I can only hope and doa dan bertawakkal kepada Nya yang berKuasa Allah s.w.t, for the next leg of the challenge....

Writing

2011-06-20T13:44:00.000+12:00

‘To find the solution to the problem is to first understand the problem’. This I acquired from an article written by a Professor in political and policy studies. Applied to my current situation, editing my writing for all the chapters based on my SVs comments, I’ve realised that I have a big problem with writing. Reading his comments though I've come to understand that I need to write with more clarity, in a concise and organised manner to `help', rather than distract the reader. I hope I can do this... May Allah s.w.t help me (and all my friends in similar situations) in this jouney…

Something to look back on

2011-05-19T15:35:00.002+12:00

For the past two months since the February 22nd earthquake incident, I have been working from home because the office is closed until further notice. Although initially I found it required a lot of discipline to write the thesis (what with the tv, kitchen, comfy bed etc just next to you!), and the occasional aftershocks, I am surprised at myself for producing some writing ie my draft Chapter 2 – Review of the Literature. I managed to write about a half to one page a day and finally finished 60 pages of writing with referencing of almost 178 sources from various journals and books. As a result of this, friends whom I did get the rare chance to meet told me I looked kind of pale and I notice my eyesight is getting worse....owh...Anyhow I couldn’t have produced this chapter it without my other half’s help with the cooking, grocery shopping and minding the children’s needs and squabbles what have you. I am so grateful to Allah for having him during these stressful times…

24th March 2011

2011-03-24T23:31:00.000+13:00

Today was my first experience at observing the burial of a death. Although I have had relatives (arwah my father, grandmother, grandfather , uncles and aunts) who have passed away, I never attended their burial. But this particular death was different because it was of a friend’s stillborn child in a country far away from Malaysia. Despite feeling a little sad, I found myself thinking how so Merciful our Creator is that this dear soul is guaranteed a place in Allah’s Paradise, insyaAllah, away from all the wretchedness of this short term life…

Today

2011-03-11T22:09:00.000+13:00

Astaghfirullah, as I watched the news today about the earthquake and tsunami in northeast of Japan, a sinking feeling came over me…the live coverage showing the NHK office floor swaying, people with pale panic faces, files falling from the shelves …all these was EXACTLY what I experienced on the 22nd of February 2011 in my office…..The latest news is that other countries in the region including New Zealand has been issued a warning to be vigilant….

Study wise, I can’t access my department at the university (Dept of Geography) until further notice…I can only dream of all the printed materials I had organized to write the literature… the books and reference material…my file containing my draft chapters, the convenience of an office and now have to adjust myself with whatever resources available on line, at home while at the same time being vigilant for the next aftershocks and tsunami warning….Astaghfirullah...

Another earthquake in Christchurch

2011-03-01T22:16:00.003+13:00

Although Im thankful that Allah has kept us safe, I cannot deny that it has been a stressful week for me. The earthquake last week on the 22nd of February 2011 was only just about 6 months after the first quake on 4th September . This incident has made me anxious, nervous and a little sad. We have to be aware for every aftershock (a term used to describe earthquakes with a lesser magnitude) that occurs...Within a day on average about 3-4 of them will occur...When this happens, all I can do is to remember Allah which makes me feel slightly okay…I feel nervous because there is always the possibility that another one will occur. Sad when I see people have lost their homes due to liquefaction , like those living in Bexley or just collapsed because it wasn’t strong enough to withstand yet another earthquake…Many families lost somebody they loved and some are still missing…Up to now 154 are confirmed dead from collapsed buildings especially in the CBD area and one third of the CBD is destroyed. I wish I could just pack up and go home, but I need to complete this work first…Afterall, this is what I have chosen to do … I pray that Allah s.w.t will give me, my dear family and friends and all Muslims and everyone here in Christchurch regardless of their faith, the courage to continue and stay strong .InsyaAllah (God Willing)…

My current situation

2011-02-10T13:19:00.000+13:00

It has been awhile since I logged my experiences here. Many things came up. Chronologically, they were:
1. Not being able to do work in the office from mid December to mid January because had to take care of the two kids during school holidays. During this time, their dad was in Malaysia to settle some things. Thus, my phd work (real focus) were made during the wee hours of the night (usually from 11pm – 3 or 4 am since suboh was 3:40 am anyway…). Anyhow, managed to write Chapter 5 (draft) for that period and updated Chapter 6. Alhamdulillah…
2. Gained my 8 month study extension from KPT and UiTM…Alhamdulillah
3. Shifted house in mid January because the tenancy ended. The owner won’t allow us to extend until June 2011…Had help from several friends to shift all the boxes to Mas’ garage as the new tenancy at Ilam apartment was 1st of February. Luckily all big furnitures were either sold on Trade Me or bought by post grad families. Stayed with Mas and Mat at their home for a week. Thank you so much!
4. Travelled to the West Coast and up North of the South Island for a week during the last week of January visiting places among others: Frans Josef Glacier, Greymouth, Punakaiki Rocks, Ngarua Caves and Nelson. Got to experiencedsleeping in a camp (although in a holiday park and not DOC land), taking wudhuk from Puponga Lake NZ, catching a salmon fish at a fish farm and walking underground through a limestone cave that has been around for 450 millions for the first time! What can I say but SubhanAllah and Alhamdulillah for the experience
5. Settling into the Ilam Apartment (which seems more like a hostel though) in the first week of February and now
6. Struggling to organise, restructure and supposedly polish my literature review (chapter 2) to meet this chaper's end of February deadline…

Hope to Allah that I can sustain the mental energy to complete this study in the midst of a waning feeling…

Mixed emotions

2010-12-15T00:05:00.003+13:00

Yesterday Along Dilah (my daughter) went home after spending a month with us here in Christchurch. I feel sad whenever we have to part ways but I pray we will meet again soon...I feel double melancholic at the moment because hubby is away back home too...

On the other hand, I feel slightly motivated with my research because I had just received some positive comments from my thesis supervisor today about my draft Chapter 4-Case Study 1. I'm really happy that he is more direct about what I should include in the writing but at the same time really worried when he mentions “Examiners will ask...”

Ah, the `joy ' and pain of doing a thesis...

Lets do it!

2010-11-08T17:36:00.003+13:00

Sometimes when I get stuck I motivate myself with the following phrases. I believe they are true and I know they are special because they were said by my friends (ladies) who HAVE completed their PhD :)
1. “K win, satu perkataan tu kalau tak kita yang tulis tak keluar jugak so kita kena tulis gak…- Dr.Ati
2. “Think of the points on the page and write each a paragraph - Dr.Zita
3. “You will need about 8 months just to write – Dr Dasimah (just got her Professorship-tahniah!)
4. "Just do what you think is good for your study" – Dr Laura
5. "Even though it is your study, you still have to follow the rules in research" – Dr Daniela
6. “Just do it” - Dr Puziah

My little poem

2010-10-26T16:05:00.000+13:00

My head is hurting
From all this reading
From all this thinking and
From all this interpreting

Why can’t it be easy
Just to write (what I know)
Instead, I have to write about what is unknown
Why it is so and how it is that way

Instead I have to write quality as oppose to run of the mill
Clarity as opposed to vague
Complete as opposed to unfinished
Contributing to knowledge as opposed to ?

By: Siti Mazwin binti Kamaruddin

My thoughts today

2010-10-12T17:49:00.002+13:00

I am now beginning to write about my qualitative data and as usual not really sure where to start. The questions filling my head concerns how the qualitative transcriptions should be structured or placed; what should go first and what should follow; where should I place the responses in relation to what and everything else….In other words what should go where?
On another note at least the aftershocks are moving on and dying off..alhamdulillah :)

Earthquake in Christchurch

2010-09-06T10:53:00.002+12:00

As usual for this Ramadhan I will wake up my family at 4.30 am...time for sahur. Suboh will be about 5.30 am...but last Saturday's (4th September 2010) 24th Ramadhan Sahur will be the one remembered most. Mainly because on that day around 4.35am we experienced our first earthquake!(reported at 7.1 scale)

What I remembered upon getting up was feeling dizzy (like a migraine coming),hearing a huge sound like a huge `gggr' up on the roof, the house rocking forward and backwards,and a feeling of panic as my husband who was on the other side of the bed stumbled towards me and our sons. Luckily my son Ilham had come to our room sometime in the night and all of us were together.As we huddled at the side of the bed all I could mutter was `Laillahaillalah' over and over again, feeling scared while our house seemed to rock back and forth. All thoughts about running to the door and going to an open space (as what the earthquake drill at uni) went out of my head! I guess that is what is called panicking!

The tremor lasted about 1-2 minutes.After that all the lights went out. We hurried towards the door..but I had to grab a tudung/headscarf first...in the dark...my husband asked the kids to get in the car...When it seemed safe we got back into the house and managed to eat some kurma and a banana for sahur (Alhamdulillah) under our dining table! (as Ilham said thats what his teacher had told them if there was earthquake). While we were under the table another slight and small tremor (reported at 5.2scale). Aftershocks (slight tremors ~scales of 3-4) continued the whole day. Every tremor made me worried as some of our friends said another one would occur...

Around 8 am we decided to get some petrol for our car..just in case.. and along the way stopped at some of our friends who had called us..luckily the phone lines were working although electricity and water supply were out till 12 in the afternoon Physically all of us and our friends are alright Alhamdulillah but emotionally and mentally....some of my friends (esp ladies) were distraught and at a friends place I could see they were shocked..some were almost in tears but we just consoled each other and know that this is dugaan from Allah for us to sabar dan lebih bertakwa kepadaNya in both good and trying times...Later we found out a chimney had fallen off a friend's house, a few had broken plates from the cupboards and misc mess in the house...almost anyone I knew couldnt get a good night sleep as the weather forecasted strong winds..I found out some families stayed together for the night...

The government here has declared Christchurch in a state of emergency, Uni is closed till next Monday, schools are closed till Wednesday at least and everyone is asked to stay at home and be aware. Ya Allah, we pray for your kindness and hope we will be safe from any more disasters...we can only ask for your Mercy....

Salam Merdeka

2010-09-01T06:21:00.003+12:00

Yesterday was the 31st of August. Malaysia gained her independence from colonial rule.We must never forget our history.To quote our 4th Prime Minister:`Perjuangan belum selesai".May Allah s.w.t continue to protect our country.InsyaAllah...

Just my thoughts

2010-08-27T17:05:00.000+12:00

I had read my friend’s status a few days back (of course on FB) and she mentioned a few academic scholars that she respected. I didn’t recognise any except that I’ve heard of Gero’s name somewhere…Anyhow, one of the `guru’ respected by Western scholars in research and evaluation in the humanities and social sciences is Michael Q. Patton (Prof). I came across his name while writing for my Chapter 3 (Research Design- currently still in a draft format) and googled it on Science Direct. The article I read informed me that he preferred a `kinder and gentler’ approach to evaluation practices. I personally believe that we really need kindness in this world. In fact our beloved Prophet Muhammad s.a.w was known to be a kind, gentle and firm in his decisions and principles but always based on petunjuk dan suruhan Allah s.w.t . the Almighty.
Anyway back to Dr. Michael Patton, I thought his answer to the question of what makes a researcher (or in my mind- any Muslim professional for that matter) competent is so clear, straight to the point yet comprehensive. Here is the extract :
Thinking about your comments to the previous questions, what do you feel are the main skills or competencies that evaluators need to have or develop in order to keep pace with emerging trends?
…To answer your question, evaluators need to be not only methodologically competent, they also need to be skilled at situational analysis, bring cultural sensitivities to their work, be politically sophisticated about the ways in which data and methods are used in the knowledge age, and understand how evaluation intersects with politics at all levels. Also, evaluators need to be very good communicators and facilitators, at least if they are doing utilization-focused evaluation and aiming to work with families and community members in mutually respectful and helpful ways.
I took from http://www.hfrp.org/evaluation/the-evaluation-exchange/issue-archive/family-support/a-conversation-with-michael-quinn-patton

The Structure of Argument

2010-08-24T12:06:00.002+12:00

I thought I would share this especially with friends who are interested and currently pursuing their studies...its an extract. Do go to the link below for the full essay.

The Structure of Argument

The heart of the academic essay is persuasion, and the structure of your argument plays a vital role in this. To persuade, you must set the stage, provide a context, and decide how to reveal your evidence. Of course, if you are addressing a community of specialists, some aspects of a shared context can be taken for granted. But clarity is always a virtue. The essay's objective should be described swiftly, by posing a question that will lead to your thesis, or making a thesis statement. There is considerable flexibility about when and where this happens, but within the first page or two, we should know where we are going, even if some welcome suspense is preserved. In the body of the paper, merely listing evidence without any discernible logic of presentation is a common mistake. What might suffice in conversation is too informal for an essay. If the point being made is lost in a welter of specifics, the argument falters.

The most common argumentative structure in English prose is deductive: starting off with a generalization or assertion, and then providing support for it. This pattern can be used to order a paragraph as well as an entire essay. Another possible structure is inductive: facts, instances or observations can be reviewed, and the conclusion to be drawn from them follows. There is no blueprint for a successful essay; the best ones show us a focused mind making sense of some manageable aspect of the world, a mind where insightfulness, reason, and clarity are joined.

Copyright 1998, Kathy Duffin, for the Writing Center at Harvard University
http://www.fas.harvard.edu/~wricntr/documents/Overvu.html

Writing

2010-08-14T09:02:00.004+12:00

I find writing for this PhD thesis a challenge because it is difficult. And I have at least 7 chapters to write! I mean I know this is something you have to do everyday but am just thinking why is it that after reading so many tips about how to mobilise writing I am still so slow at it? Anyway,just want to share this tip about writing. I heard it from yesterdays's presentation by a lecturer here at the university. He said " if you meet with this thing called `writer's block' try switching off the monitor and just write what you have in mind". Okay,I'll give it a try and see if it works :)

Alhamdulillah

2010-08-12T10:03:00.003+12:00

Alhamdulillah, today is 1st of Ramadhan 2010 in New Zealand.Alhamdulillah too, today I received a nice email about a paper I had submitted 5 months ago. It says:

Dear Siti Mazwin Kamaruddin,

The International Journal of Learning has received the final referee report for your paper 'Factors that influence urban secondary students' recycling participation in Selangor, Malaysia, The'. You may view the reports at: http://www.cgpublisher.com/CGPublisher/works/23835/actions/1/1/manage_workspace.
It is our policy not to vet or alter the referees' comments.

I am pleased to be able to inform you that your paper, "Factors that
influence urban secondary students' recycling participation in Selangor, Malaysia, The" has been Accepted for publication in The International Journal of Learning.

The International Journal of Learning is a fully peer-refereed Journal.Only those papers that are accepted through the refereeing process will be published in the Journal. Our refereeing processes are rigorous,consistent, fair and objective. Each paper is sent to a minimum of two referees for review.
Common Ground journals are internationally recognised and indexed in majordatabases around the world. Please visit the Journal website at
http://ijl.cgpublisher.com for further information.

You will soon be offered a Publishing Agreement. Once the Publishing
Agreement has been accepted you will be requested to upload a final version of your paper for typesetting and publication.We look forward to receiving your final submission.

Yours Sincerely,

Kathryn Otte
The International Journal of Learning

Alhamdulillah I feel happy that I have accomplished something during this study phase but I still have a lot of work ahead of me. May Allah help me and my friends through this phd journey and may we all strive to be a better person, student, mother, parent, friend and Moslem...InsyaAllah...

Qualitative data and analysis

2010-07-26T10:12:00.002+12:00

Analysing qualitative data is not easy...For the past week I have started reading (a bit more seriously) on how to analyse qualitative data.What I found were a few things. First, before analysis, we have to realise what it is this data actually is. This kind of data can be in the form of text either from documents, interviews, field observations etc for the purpose of making sense of the social observations without converting them to numerical format ( Babbie 2005). Second, we have to make some sense of the data to enable us to`make sense' of the phenomena occuring around us. This implies that when we `look' or read the data, we have to what Dey (1993) refers to `have questions in our mind about the what who where when and whys of things'. To do this, we need to sytematically approach the data. We can use 3 methods (Babbie 2005; Silverman 2005). We can use the grounded theory method, semiotics method and converstaion (CA) method. Of course there are other ways of approaching things which I have not yet started reading them...From what I observe from the readings, the grounded theory method seems to be the most popular to maintain the originality and context of the data, but that is entirely my opinion...Thirdly, we have to compare, connect, differentiate the obvius and not so obvius. To do this or organise the data, the scholars recommend `categorising' or `classifying' them according to some method in order to reveal some `patterns' ( Babbie 2005; Grinnel and Unrau 2008;Corbin and Strauss 2008.Of course now we have the use of computers to help store, sort and recall the text (Alhamdulillah for this. The type of coding then can be in the form of `Descriptive coding' `Topic coding' and Anlytical Coding' (Richards 2005).Of the three, the first is the simpliest but necessary and the last is the hardest but most `rewarding' (Richards p.94).
No wonder my friends have mentioned the words `data is soo rich youre not sure which to select';`very time consuming process; `boring';complicated' making me nervous to start on this thing which honestly I have been procrastinating for a while now...Ya Allah, for ever, I pray for your kindness to help me to do the right thing and do it right...

SMK Sri Permata

2010-07-19T09:50:00.003+12:00

One of the schools that was included in my survey and interview for this phd research was SMK Sri Permata in Petaling Jaya, Selangor. It is also environmnetally active ( see their website and blogin my link). With the activities practiced and implaced in their school, they (the principal, teachers and most importantly the students) have embraced, facilitated and incorporated what is referred to as the concept of CoL ( community of learners)Bielaczyc and Collins 1999)and CoP ( community of Practice) ( Lave and Wenger 1991. The theories argue that participation in activities where multiple perspective of learning both formal and informal;engagement and collaboration help nurture a sense of empowerment, understanding and active participation. This is vital for students and teachers as a tool to developing solutions. So, for that, Syabas SMK Sri Permata!

The challenge or question tha comes to my mind now is what can be improved to gain more participation (an equitable one), how to sustain the activities and interest of the students and what good practices ( for replication or model maybe?)that can be used here?

“We are all Palestinians now”

2010-06-01T09:18:00.001+12:00

Raid on Mavi Marmara

A dazed man with a striking black eye was unloaded from an ambulance. There had been "some brutality" on board, he said, but the activists were non-violent. "We are all Palestinian now," he said as the doors of the ER closed behind him.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/may/31/publicity-machine-overdrive-mavi-assault

Semoga Allah membantu pihak yang benar dan yang beriman hanya padaNya

Today's seminar

2010-05-27T14:59:00.004+12:00

One thing good about studying in a foreign university is that you get to practice speaking and communicating in a language other than your own. Today was my turn to present any part of my on going phd research to the Department of Geography at the University and I decided to present the survey I undertook titled "Factors influencing the recycling participation of urban secondary school children in Selangor Malaysia" http://www.geog.canterbury.ac.nz/seminars.shtml There were about 20 people in the audience comprising of my supervisors, lecturers, Erskine fellows, PhD candidates and post grad students. I felt nervous but was determined to go through it because it is afterall part and parcel of a PhD student's life: to present and share your research.

I'm thankful that I didn't get into any technical hitches and the slides appeared alright.As the subject is a common topic I expected many questions. There were about 7questions posed and I answered them to the best of my knowledge.I think it was useful to me as I gained an insight into what people were thinking and how I could use that for my own work.

After the presentation, my SVs approached me and said `Well done but take the comments for further considerations to your next work in progress. Anyway, I feel happy that he is happy.

Paradigm

2010-05-11T22:27:00.003+12:00

I used to forget about what I had dreamt but somehow I could recall yesterdays'. It wsn't about winning the lottery (which is haram by the way) nor was it about any favourite movie star or entertainer..It was just about what was the logic for choosing a mixed methodology as a research paradigm. For those of you who are familiar with social and behavioural sciences a paradigm is what Lincoln and Guba (2000) contend a `world view' or a kind of framework that guides a researcher to do the research. This brings to mind those words associated so lovingly with methodology i.e the ontology and epistemology of things.Plus whether we are more inclined to follow the positivist or postpositivist/constructivist views.Personally I can see myself as an interpretive pragmatist and as far as I can remember, I view both quan and qual data essential to most if not all explanation. Just maybe the degree of each paradigm is different within different copntext.

So back to my dream, I recalled someone wearing a white lab coat ( for the life of me I don't know who this person is) asking me `so why do you choose this method? Of course in the dream I was stuck for words...

Meeting with SVs

2010-05-03T17:22:00.003+12:00

I've just had another meeting with my SVs. The subject was my tentative table of contents and my work schedule. As expected at the initial stage I knew they would be appreciative...but then came a list of critical questionings about certain sections which they think i should include but which I had left out?and some sections which I should slash and include in another chapter. My main SV said ` for a phd its not only about the nitty gritty work that you have done, but the overall theoretical underpinings of why you are writing this'. I wish he would just ask me in plain English `so Siti, what is your research paradigm?.Or better still, suggest some way I could attempt the task so I can get on with it. I also get the feeling that maybe Ive left out the overall picture and was just all the while focusing on the details? Or I guess they are really just testing me and pushing me to think deeper and what's that phrase `think outside the box'? Im feeling exhausted and challenged but I hope I will recover soon. Betullah PhD ni,it really is about the perseverance and the patience and overcoming the mental and emotional challenges and taking everything as a learning process...

Work to do

2010-05-03T09:37:00.002+12:00

I've just updated my work schedule as requested for my supervisors and am wondering if I can actually live up to it. Really feeling the stress and tension of this write up phase.My friends tell me to write at least 1 page a day, follow the skeleton (TOC) Ive set myself with and NO procrastinating. At the moment Im trying my best. It seems writing while reviewing the literature, making sense of the writing, appraising and not just summarising while at the same time linking it back to my own research questions is not easy....

In three weeks time I have to present a paper at the Dept's fortnightly seminar and I've been putting that aside...Ya Allah I pray for your assistance and guidance...

Friends

2010-04-19T14:14:00.001+12:00

The other day I had breakfast with two friends. One had completed her phd studies and soon going to her convocation while the other is almost completing hers. As usual whenever we phd students meet up, we will not get away with talking about 1) our supervisors 2) the difficulties in analysing the data and not getting the result we wanted 3) the difficulty of writing, elaborating, and the especially very difficult critically appraising the subject that we are supposed to be researching on!
Anyhow, what I find amazing is that after talking about it and despite knowing or being aware of all these difficulties, we come out feeling refreshed and more motivated to continue this hopefully soon to end journey called phd study! Well, I guess talking about the difficulties with people who understand or are in the same situation does release some tension…now to get back to real Work!

Feeling unproductive

2010-04-11T09:31:00.004+12:00

I have been so unproductive this past few weeks, in terms of writing for the thesis...I'm trying to figure out if it has to do with me personally and internally(i.e attitude and habit) or external situations (i.e weather, other people, food, home environemnt etc). When I do look at the list I notice that
1) the first requires a bigger magnitude of effort than the second from my brain and heart ie thoughts and feelings and
2)Actually, I can control or modify these factors if I just push myself more than if I were to pull in...
3) Logically the effort would be less of an effort or easier if I were to start something small and then continue to build it up but then how do I go about this when I know that the small is actually part of a bigger thing? So I guess it should be the other way around right?
4) all this is making me physically have headaches

Ya Allah AlMighty, I pray that you give me guidance adn the will to write this thesis as you are the only pure element able to help me get back on my tracks...

Recent events

2010-03-23T17:49:00.002+13:00

Some recent events have made think about the fact that we cannot control the outcome of things but we can control the events leading to that outcome.Of course undoubtedly with the will of our Creator. That is without any doubts.It was also interesting when I heard somebody reminding us that everyone has `rezeki' or could I translate it to mean same opportunities? but how we obtain it, and what the barriers we face to achieve that and how we go about overcoming those barriers to gain that rezeki would be entirely different.

How Not To Get a Phd

2010-02-02T15:00:00.003+13:00

Last week I had 2 visitors as guests from Malaysia whom I had met at the NZAEE 2010 conference in Napier (held the week before). Dr. Esther Daniels who is an Assoc.Prof and lecturer in UM and Shidah from WWF Malaysia were nice to extend their visit to Christchurch when initially they didn't plan to. At the conference, they told me that they were only going down to Kaikoura and back to Wellington but since I had invited them to stay at my home, they obliged. Although we had only met, I felt I already knew them...I guess as we each had similar interest in research, saving the environment and all...We also talked about doing research together...after I complete this phd of course!

And talking about phd, sometimes I like to read this article by Phillip and Pugh about How Not to get a phd!..Funny how my perspective has changed since I read this when I had just started on this phd journey and now as I am in my 3rd year. Initially I really could not relate well to what they were saying but now that I have gone through the proposal stage, data collection and now in my analysis and writing (?) stage, many things they say make me squeamish and I pray I don't get into any of the 7 category...especially the part about `it is important to have a cogent/convincing argument'. Anyhow, just to share this with my friends who are in the journey...

Be aware of the seven ways of not getting a PhD:
• not wanting a PhD;
• overestimating what is required;
• underestimating what is required;
• having a supervisor who does not know what is required;
• losing contact with your supervisor;
• not having a 'thesis' (i.e. position, argument) to maintain;
• taking a new job before completing.

Work to understand the implications of these traps fully in your own situation and determine not to succumb to them. Re-establish your determination regularly when blandishments to stray from your programme of work recur.
source: Estelle M. Phillips' and Derek S. Pugh's How to get a Phd
guardian.co.uk, Friday 8 November 2002
http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2002/nov/08/highereducation.books

This week

2010-01-15T13:59:00.002+13:00

This has been a busy week for me:
1. Finalising my poster with the svs for next week's conference in Napier
2. Negotiating with the dept, College of Science and Registrar to fund my registration, accomodation and flight tickets (which apparently is over the dept's allocated budget of 1K/yr for phd students) - hope I don't have to pay the difference of 311 dollars
3.Getting it printed at the Library
4. Packing to move into a new house as my contract with the current flat has expired
5. More packing
6. Preparing to cook for at least 15-20 people on house shifting day (usually its my dear other half who will do this but since he will organise the moving of stuff, its fair that I look into the cooking part-though I'm not such a good cook dear me)
7. Trying to write (yeah) the thesis (what else)...

Anyway,looking forward to going to the conference next week which includes a trip to Lake Opuahi on the 4th and final day of the conference...but will miss my kids and hubbie...

Poster

2010-01-08T15:03:00.003+13:00

A knock on the door and Eric ( my supervisor) said `Siti, could I discuss with you on your poster now? Are you available because I have another appointment in 15 minutes...' I said :`Now? but I have some stuff I need to edit. And he said` but I have some stuff too...

About 15 minutes earlier I had emailed it to our department's Graphic designer and my supervisors. Marney's (the designer) comments through email and phone were simple enough; change to lighter tones, give some white margin spaces, align all your boxes, love the pictures of students and recycling etc.. But Eric (my main SV) comments were not so straight forward: `You need to attract people to your poster not only with the graphs and charts and details but to answer their `So what? question. When they look at your poster this question will be on their minds. You have already some details (pointing to a table on my poster on the screen) now emphasise/summarise on the findings; And you can explain the statistical details along the way.Oh and don't forget, there is an apostrophe after student's participation in the title. ( My thought: Yes I know, your name is on the by line next to mine.)But I did get away with my : Is that all? question...and a surprise look but with a smile on his face!

Ok, I thought I wouldn't have to work this weekend ( some of us are going to a Lavender Farm - all ladies event) but I guess I'll cut down on my beauty sleep..

Salam Maal Hijrah 1431

2009-12-18T09:53:00.002+13:00

Today is 1 Muharam 1431, the beginning of a new year, Salam Maal Hijrah 1431. May Allah guides us always in the right path InsyaAllah.

The fun theory

2009-12-08T09:24:00.002+13:00

In one of my interviews with secondary school children, the student mentioned that to encourage more students to recycle or use the recycling bins the `fun' factor must be there. That is because according to her, teenagers will often do something if it is fun. I think this is an important piece of information and a strategy to change towards pro environmental behaviour. Coincidentally, I received an email from Fostering Sustainbale Behaviour about the `Fun theory' on You Tube. check this out. http://www.thefuntheory.com/. The video shows fun ways to
1- Make more people use the stairs instead of the elevator. It works!. What they did was, they put piano sounds on the stairs when people step on it. It definitely increased 60% usage of the stairs instead of the escalator.
2-Make more people use the bins instead of littering on the ground around the bin. They put in a sound effect in the bin.They labelled the bin `The deepest bin'. And everytime a person throws something into it, an echoing sound similar to throwing something very far down appears!An added 40 kilos of waste were collected for the day.
3- Make more people throw glass bottles into the recylcing bin. They included sounds like an arcade/pinball machine and had points appeared everytime a glass bottle was thrown in. That made people beratur just to put a glass bottle in!
I love their ideas!

A concern

2009-12-02T12:40:00.001+13:00

I’m in a dilemma as to whether to allow my kids to go to their school’s end of the year 2 nights and 3 days camping event in Living Springs. Why ? well I can foresee there will be some difficulty with the food arrangements in particular. As for solat arrangements, my son ( who is eight years old) knows that on journeys he can jamak and qasar his Zuhur in Asar and Maghrib in Isyak InsyaAllah. As for Suboh prayers, well this Summer Suboh starts at 4.22am and ends at 6.02. Hope he can wake himself up….

Back to the food arrangements, should I pack his lunch and dinner (especially as for tea he can eat fruits and biscuits, except doughnuts because most doughnuts here have animal fat in them) for the three days or should I provide the camp people with uncooked halal burgers ( the Zareena or Corbies brand). I guess I must mention to them to cook separately from the non-halal meat, i.e different pans? His teachers who are going with him will have to bear with our concernslah nampaknya….

Salam Aidil Adha 2009

2009-11-27T18:01:00.002+13:00

Salam Aidil Adha to all my family and friends. Right now Im missing my mother (Hajjah Normah bt. Idris) my daughter Adilah and my brothers and family back home . Back to Chch to continue the next phase in this phd process. My main supervisor, Eric calls it the `exciting phase'..hm exciting? Im having back pain, neck pain and eye pain `cleaning' my data. I havent finished transcribing all those interviews and I miss having lunch with Zana and Azmi (she's a lady btw, has a Nur in front of her name) at the Kebudayaan section 7. Balik Chch, lunch is the same old fish sandwich with sayur lettuce...

Anyhow, a good note is that the Malaysian postgrads are going to have a BBQ this coming sunday sempena Hari Raya Aidiladha. Really looking forward to the food and friends of course!

This coming weekend

2009-10-29T19:50:00.003+13:00

This weekend I plan to go to Temerloh and Kuantan with my family. I've heard about the famous `ikan paten masak lemak tempoyak' so hopefully will get to savour this. A friend of mine (Sal) told me to find the stalls at the old bus station in Temerloh. In Kuantan I've booked rooms at Dhe Rhu (Pantai Beserah) because heard good reviews about this place. Most importantly I want to `mandi laut', because this is one of my favourite activities of all time. Tak sabar rasenya! So as not to feel too guilty, I'll consider this as my reward for completing an abstract for an upcoming conference and managing to interview 2 key respondents! he he...nak sedapkan hati lah katakan...

Recycling note

2009-10-17T08:11:00.002+13:00

rThe other day I visited a friend who happens to be an environmental officer with a Local Authority and I asked her what she thought about Malaysians attitude towards the recycling behaviour. In her opinion, the more wealthy a household is, the less keen they are to recycle their waste i.e the lazier they become and the more reliant they are on the local authority to dispose their waste. As we all know, unlike where some of us are temporarily studying and residing (eg. New Zealand and the UK), we in Malaysia don’t have any kerbside recycling (except I heard in Putrajaya and that is still in the pilot stage). Thus, we either have to send our recyclbales to the Pusat Kitar Semula Komuniti, to our children’s school or the paper lama pakcik comes a knocking or should I say comes with his loud speaker on…if you know what I mean.? Well, upon collecting a sample of questionnaires from a school (N=47) where 52% were boys and 48% were girls, I found there was a correlation (using Pearson’s r) between factors (or shall we say variables?) related to their perceived convenience (doValle et al. 2005) eg. satisfaction with the collection by LA or pakcik recycler or knowing where the recycling bins are located and the act to recycle. Also, I found that 57% of my respondents in this small sample think they might send recylcables to Pusat Kitar Semula if they have the convenience of time and transport. This also correlated significantly to their perception that Msians would prefer to sell to the pakcik recycler who conveniently comes right to your door step and even pays you 1-2 RM ( depending on the length of their index finger he he). Now, they don’t have that in NZ!

Work

2009-09-28T14:10:00.003+13:00

Having to work at home is really testing my self discipline. The home is surrounded by your kids, the garden, your mum or family, the kitchen and whatever have you equals...distraction. I think from now on I might use the UitM library carrels which are small rooms I discovered on the fourth floor as my office space. Another thing I found was a book on envornmental management which is an essential book not found in Uni of Canterbury (where I am currently studying) but is in UiTM's library! so something good came from that visit..and oh yes, met one of my ex student at the stairs, met Kak Puziah and Morni too....

Salam Aidilfitri

2009-09-20T02:20:00.002+12:00

Tomorrow 20.9.2009 Muslims in Malaysia will celebrate Hari Raya Eidilfitri. This will be my 15th time that I will celebrate the 1st of Syawal with my in laws in Kota Bharu...the other two times I didn't go back to my husband's hometown was in 2005 because I was due to deliver our child and 2008 because we wanted to experience Raya in Christchurch NZ..

Not that I am complaining because this is my `social contract' with my other half, but I do miss celebrating with my mum in Kelana Jaya or if she happens to be in Kuala Pilah...

Anyway, to all my friends and family in Christchurch, Kelana Jaya, Shah Alam and friends who are in my situation, A happy Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin, May Allah bless you and your family and may this Eidilfitri strengthen our friendship, respect and love for each other in Allah's keredhaan, InsyaAllah

Salam Ramadhan and Salam Kemerdekaan

2009-08-28T20:51:00.003+12:00

Rasanya belum terlambat untuk mengucapkan Salam Ramadhan Al Mubarak kepada semua kawan-kawan dan ahli keluarga yang mengenali diri ini serta memohon kemaafan...Walaubagaimanapun, masih sempat untuk diucapkan Salam Kemerdekaan 31 Ogos untuk negaraku Malaysia yang dicintai, tanah tumpahnya darahku ...Semoga Allah memberkati dan melindungi negara yang berDaulat ini InsyaAllah...

Sabar

2009-08-05T17:43:00.004+12:00

The swine flu pandemic in Malaysia is really worrying me. Up till today 9 deaths have been reported. Any sign of flu like symptoms should not be taken lightly. Even my son's `selsema' is worrying me and last night we went to the MAIS clinic nearby after the UiTM panel clinik was so full with patients...The doctor tells me that he doesn't have fever so its just normal flu but if he has a temperature, I should bring him back to the clinic. She thinks the government should close schools for the time being..until the `jerebu' clears and the pandemic is controlled...

I never expected this challenging time in the process of my data collection back home in Malaysia...I still need to visit a few organisations and schools for my survey and interviews...as a friend commented on my comment about cabaran on my facebook...`barulah lebih bernilai phd nanti...collect data time swine flu'. Hmm....sabar je lah..

Today's challenge

2009-07-31T18:32:00.003+12:00

I thought I was done with getting letters of approval (for data colelction purposes) but today I met another obstacle I need to overcome, another application for approval from another local school authority. Well, I must realise that I am dealing with Malaysian scenario where procedures and protocols are the order of the day....thanks to my sahabat Ani Saifuza for `lending' me her office space and printer...

Respondents II

2009-07-29T12:17:00.004+12:00

From my pilot study last November where I managed to interview 7 waste officials from 7 different local authorities involved in waste management programmes, I found that administrators perceive that schools seem to be the most active `community' invovled with recycling and other green activities. However, yesterday when I interviewed a respondent of the school `community', who happens to be a very dedicated school teacher involved with a green programme (a collaboration with a UK petroleum company)in her school, she doesn't agree that this is so. When I asked her why, she is of the opinion that a school will only be active in an environmental or green programme if it is invited by the government or any other bodies or involved in any `race' or competition with other schools. In another sense, the incentive or motivation influences the level of participation. This revelation then brings to mind the quesiton of accountability vs responsibility. Do the students or teachers or the particular community `go green' because they need to be accountable to somebody i.e the decision makers or do they get involved because they have a sincere sense of responsibility to themselves ( or the environment)? Anyhow, this assumption is still premature as I still need to gain more insights from other school reps and rom different community eg. NGO or the business actors involved in green activities, in particular community waste management. This Friday I have an appointment to interview a particular NGO involved in recycling of waste for charity purposes. May Allah help me in this challenge...

Respondents

2009-07-19T21:35:00.002+12:00

Upon receiving a reply from a potential respondent, I followed up with a telephone call. I was immediately taken by surprise when he told me that he was actually not too keen to entertain my request ( to be interviewed). This was because he and others in the committee member had once helped a previous phd student in her thesis by being a respondent but never received any news after that session….in other words the question of `So what do we get by helping you? ‘ was implied but unstated…

Quickly I assured him by informing him that `I’m not that kind of student…I will share the findings later with my respondents keeping anonymity and confidentiality…and requesting for an opportunity to meet up…this I guess might have changed his perception about me which led to today’s meetup with a few committee members at a seminar arranged by them for their residents. Meeting with them opened another possibility to interview them as a focus group either next week which I will confirm with their association’s secretary…

Lesson learned from this event in my phd process and as a researcher:
Have to maintain a sense of humility with everyone and anyone
Have to follow up contacts through all media:emails, telephone calls, informal meetups
The suggestions made by my uni’s Human Ethic committee about making transcriptions available to all respondents (which I missed initially in my application) is really happening in my situation
Be prepared with a short and precise description to the so often asked question `so what is your research about’…
I guess I will face other situations which I many not have anticipated. I am after all dealing with the complexity of humans in complex situations...may Allah help me with this challenge...

Do it

2009-07-16T18:10:00.003+12:00

`Anticipate the unanticipated'..that's what my 2nd supervisor adviced me before I left home to start on my data collection and how true that is...It has been almost a month now and my progress is really, really slow. My schedule is off, my respondents are only slowly responding and I need to be more disciplined...Got to set a target and move towards it...a friend who finished her phd with flying colours once told me `do what you think is good for the study, ' while my friend Kak Puziah always tells me to `just do it' and Inah's note `you got to do what you got to do' sums it up. Ya Allah, please give me the strength and your Guidance...

Today

2009-07-08T20:36:00.000+12:00

Went to Unit Perancang Ekonomi at JPM Putrajaya today to get my `Pas Penyelidik’. I had to bring 2 passport sized photographs along. Upon reaching the gate, there was a sign posted at the guard’s post `Etika Pakaian di Perkarangan JPM’. Luckily I wore my baju kurong today because it showed on the poster that ladies should not be sleeveless and something about the length of the skirt ..not that I wear sleeveless shirts or short skirts…as for the skirts I think must be at least knee length. Unfortunately, as my husband was wearing a t shirt, he could not accompany me..because the poster stated that to enter the premise, men must wear a collared t shirt. Have to be more aware now about this things….

On another note, have been a bit busy past week settling down, finding the kids a place at school, getting the air cond fixed, cleaning the house, groceries ( as we are going to be home in Malaysia for 4 months) and helping to co author a paper about community waste management ( my research interest) with my friend and colleague Dr Das to be edited by Dr Hamimah of FSPU, Uitm di Hatiku…

Suatu yang pasti

2009-06-27T03:02:00.002+12:00

Today I heard on the news that Michael Jackson has passed away. He was 50 years old. I have to say that although I am not a fan of the singer and his antics I quite like some of his songs. I know it may sound weird but I really liked one song `Smooth Criminal’ during my teenage years. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that he had converted to Islam since last February 2008 from my husband…all I had heard was that he was going to have a final concert in the UK this coming July. However, as we always say, `kita hanya merancang tapi Allah yang menentukan …tapi kematian itu suatu yang pasti. In this case and in all cases, Allah will always know what is best for us.

Support

2009-05-25T10:24:00.004+12:00

Its good to have my roomate(officemate) Marcela back from Chile from her fieldwork. She had been back to her country for almost 6 months. Now we can start again our small group (about 5 of us: Mizna, Marcela, me, Bolor, Shuha and Rijal who completed his phd last February) of Human and Physical Geographers informal meetings. Here, we talk about our research progress and just have a nice time drinking coffee and cakes or whatever the members bring. It is a small group of us `international 'students but I really like our group. The map on the right shows the phd students who are mostly from outside NZ and research varies from Climatology, Atmospheric, Remote Sensing to Indiginenous community, Environmental and Resource Mgt or Coastal Management and Geo Health related research.

My scarve-tudung

2009-05-18T22:42:00.005+12:00

Two questions (among others) that I seem to be caught unaware are the `so ..what is your research about?’ question and the ’why do you wear the head scarve? question. While the first query can be answered without any serious consequences, I think, the second one requires me to answer in such a manner so as not to mislead anyone. As far as I can recall, those who have asked me about my scarves or tudungs have all been non muslim women who I believe are just intelligently curious. I remembered the first time I had this query was when I was in the US in my teens and my answer was ‘ well.. it’s a requirement as a Muslim’. 20 odd years later in NZ, I was asked this same question today but this time my answer was ‘well…this is my identity as a Moslem, I feel happy that people know I am a Moslem… I don’t feel constrained in any manner but it is still a responsibility’.. , I guess, the first was the obvious straight to the point answer while the second was more of an inner self reflection…may Allah the All Knowing will forgive me for my shortcomings…

Human Ethics

2009-05-15T15:48:00.002+12:00

Today I submitted the HE form. At my university, if you are doing research and the participants are humans, minorities, indigenous people, children 16 and under,most probably you need the Human Ethics Committee clearance and approval. Initially I thought this would be simple but in the end I ended up with 10 Appendices~They are ( and this is for my record of the process in phd)

1.Letter of Approval from EPU
2.Correspondence from Min of Education (to do the survey at schools)
3. Table of funding and costs
4. Questionnaire
5.List of structured interview questions
6.Sample of letter to participants/respondents (4 groups)
7.Information / Project Brief to NGO, Business,RA, LA
8.Information sheet for schools
9. Consent Form for Principal on behalf of school children
10.Consent form for individuals

Well, we will see the outcome..pray for me

Pagi ini

2009-05-11T10:15:00.003+12:00

Sejuk betul pagi ni. Kepala sakit, jari tangan dan kaki rasa kebas. Pagi-pagi lagi husband dah siap untuk keluar kerja..hanya sempat tengok dia curah air ke tingkap depan kereta yang penuh dengan ais, kesan hujan malam tadi yang membeku pagi subuh ni..Kalau dia syif kerja pagi, anak2 berjalan kaki ke sekolah...takpe, pagi ni tak hujan and jalan kaki ke sekolah hanya mengambil masa 5 minit je..berbasikal ke Uni hanya 20 minit...

Kenapa entah pagi ni bilik ofis pun sejuk? heater rosak ke?macamana ni...Tengok email dulu (manalah tahu, dari supervisor) tapi `surprise' seorang kawan lama yang dah dekat 6 tahun tak dengar berita hantar email .Dia sekarang dengan family berada kat UK, menemani orang rumah nya yang juga baru menempoh alam pengajian phd.. dan yang seronoknya sedang menunggu kelahiran cahayamata ke3! InsyaAllah semuanya selamat dan semoga tabah menghadapi kehidupan baru..

Just my uncertainties

2009-05-08T00:22:00.002+12:00

I have been having weekly meetings with my supervisors since the past couple of weeks. I used to only meet them once a month. This weekly meeting is common to some of my friends like Su, Mashi and Nat who are all superb students, but for poor me this brought more pressure and stress. I mean, I know my supervisors are concerned about my upcoming fieldwork and I know (I think?) they want to make sure I am on the right track. My friends advice making a list of all the things I should be doing which is really helpful, my head tells me that for every task there is a sub list in 10s and my inner self asks me `can I finish all this work and at the same time reach their level of expectation ?’ Ya Allah..hanya padaMu ku berserah…

Time off

2009-04-14T15:13:00.000+12:00

I've just realised I have tons of work not completed, especially preparation for data collection this coming June. I most probably won't be posting much entries onwards. To my friends, especially currently studying/reading/writing for their phd, I know you will understand.

Pengalaman

2009-04-13T10:55:00.004+12:00

Kerja utama yang perlu disiapkan untuk minggu ini ialah memeriksa esei-esei pelajar Geog 106. Semasa di Fakulti di UiTM, tanggungjawab memeriksa dan memberi markah tugasan pelajar adalah tanggungjawab pensyarah, manakala di Jabatan Geography, UC, ianya merupakan salah satu tanggungjawab Tutor dalam membantu Pensyarah kursus. Kesemua tutor adalah pelajar pasca ijazah. Untuk pemarkahan, kriteria utama yang ditekankan ialah memberi ulasan kepada tugasan/esei tersebut dengan harapan agar ianya dapat membantu pelajar memperbaiki penulisan mereka. Tanggungjawab ini juga secara tidak langsung 'memaksa' tutor, terutamanya yang menulis ini mempelajari cara penulisan esei akademik dengan lebih gigih lagi. Diri ini merasakan masih kekurangan ilmu ...Ya Allah...mohon petunjuk dan hidayah Mu...
- foto di atas diambil oleh Daniela Haas di Lake Ellesmere, Christchurch NZ semasa kajian lapangan bulan lepas bersama tutor dan pensyarah Geog 106. Dari kiri, saya, Tristan, Prof Sturman dan Mizna (dari Maldive). Foto di kanan pula memaparkan pelajar-pelajar sedang mendengar penerangan daripada Eric (supervisor :) di Kennedy's Bush.

Short review

2009-04-08T17:23:00.001+12:00

Today I read an interesting paper titled "Learning more effectively from experience"
by Fazey et al. (2007). The thesis or argument of the paper was that developing the capacity to learn effectively from experience can enhance the ability to deal with new situations; such as cooking for a kenduri or more complex situation, managing an environmental resource. The paper base their assumption that if individuals understand how to learn, they will be able to learn more effectively. So the obvious question that comes to my mind is how do you develop this capacity? i.e how do you go about understanding how to learn? They argue that there are 3 key factors affecting individual learning: practice, variation in practice and reflection and thinking

There are 3 ways of enhancing practice : actual complemented with imagined practice; making judgement about the performance of the task before and after receiving feedback; random experience of variation of a task.

The second factor, variation in practice can develop adaptability. Variation can be in the form of the intended outcome, the judgement criteria, the way it is done, the reason the task is undertaken and the perspective a person can take (which can differ). In sum, they argue, be open to how an experience can change your current understanding and be open to how others perceive the same experience

The third factor they posit is that reflection and thinking (adopted from Kolb and Fry’s 1975 Learning Cycle theory) ensures a level of continuity of learning.
The article goes on to detail example of application in a conservation project in Australia and the implications that accompanies this. Anyhow, bear in mind that this article was written from a cognitive psychology and phenomenography perspective, thus the focus on the importance of experience, but nevertheless worth considering, for me at least.

My children's school

2009-04-07T11:16:00.002+12:00

Last night my husband and I went to our children’s parent and community meeting at Aorangi School. The main agenda was to update us about the new school building which was supposed to be built last year but unfortunately has not taken off due to a number of reasons. When we first came here I really did not know too much about this project but last night was an eye opener. It seems that even in this 1st world country (as most participants in the meeting kept mentioning) bureaucracy, “corruption”, empty promises and political power struggle are evident right from the beginning resulting in the delay upon delay towards construction of the new building which would be a lot more safer, warmer and healthier environment for the kids. According to the principle, Mrs T ( a committed and passionate teacher and principle), the Ministry has continuously postponed releasing the finances for construction of the new building by imposing added requirements, costing etc. All these delaying tactics are just that. To delay things. At the end of the meeting, all that attended came up with some strategies including staging a protest which would be held in due time, getting this story to the media and press and continue to pressure the government in any legitimate means. Although I am not a New Zealander but a parent who happens to reside here currently with children going to this school, I feel for this school’s effort, commitment and passion to provide the best for all the children. I'm sure I would feel the same even if I were in Malaysia and the same thing is happening back home. Please doa that the school's efforts will not be in vain.

Summary

2009-03-31T17:58:00.001+13:00

I have always thought that writing a summary of an article was just 1) to read the material and 2) summarize it (with the end result it being 1/3 of the original length of the article).However, there is actually a clear method to do this which I learned today at my 5th writing class at the UC Learning Skills Centre. The steps are:
1) Prepare a table with 4 columns;
2) Copy the paragraphs of the article and paste them in the first column
3) While reading each paragraph(s), select the main key words or idea and write them in the second column in bullet format. Do not write long sentences. Cite the source (if any) in the third column.
4)Once this is done, only look at the 2nd and 3rd columns and detect any similar patterns of words or repeated phrases and group them (similar to coding words). Put these in the 4th column.
Finally, synthesise and start writing your own sentences based on the words in the 4th column. Don’t forget to acknowledge the sources i.e cite. According to our instructor (who holds a phd ), this method can minimize the tendency for unintended plagiarism and encourages us to use our creativity and originality in writing.
I know it sounds simple, yet difficult to execute though. I may end up with my originally intended 2 step method.

Reflections

2009-03-30T15:37:00.001+13:00

Reading about the recession in my friend Kak Puziah’s blog, reminds me how grateful I am to our Creator for allowing me and my family to live within our means. I remembered the last recession of 1997 -2000 was a particularly difficult time for me, my husband was working and studying part time, I had to endure a pay cut of 20% at the firm, on going house mortgage, car loan and in ’99 my dearest father passed away. Reflecting back, I guess the things that got me going were truly my family, job responsibilities, my mom and just having faith in Allah that things will get around for the better. Now, ten years later, we are in another recession cycle, I’m in another country, different job responsibilities; but while everything around us changes, the world continues to orbit around the sun, and only Ar-Raziq:The Provider will remain Al-Awal-al-Akhir :The Very First and the Very Last

Undertaking research in Malaysia

2009-03-23T09:17:00.003+13:00

Today I checked my email and Alhamdulillah, received my approval letter to undertake research in Malaysia from EPU. I guess everyone already knows this but to my friends who are not aware yet..(I wasn't until I came here) it seems this is a procedure set by EPU (Economic Planning Unit Malaysia) for anyone outside the country and wants to collect data for research in Malaysia.This includes Malaysian postgrads overseas who are planning to do case studies of Malaysian localities, collect data of households or people of Malaysia. For non Malaysians (like my supervisors) who intend to undertake any research in Malaysia, they too must apply, pay a small fee and must have a local counterpart/collaboration. Luckily as a Malaysian, we are exempted form this payment. Sometimes I wonder if all this procedure and beauracracy is necessary but I guess for the moment, it is.The good part is the EPU personnels are efficient in processing the application as long as you fulfill all the requirements...biasa lah...

Note Taking

2009-03-17T17:47:00.002+13:00

Today I attended the third weekly session on `writing skills for post graduates' organised by the university's Learning Skills Centre. My supervisor had suggested that I enroll in any of their classes/workshops (although it is not compulsory) to improve my writing. The past two sessions were on `Academic Writing' and Critical Thinking and today's session was on note taking. In a nutshell, effective note taking is one that is organised, time efficient and useful to the postgrad who is expected to read and digest hundreds of journal papers, academic research material, and relevant books. One method presented was called the Cornell method of note taking. In this method, it recommends preparing a table with 4-5 columns. Ensure that there is a row to key in the bibliographic details for example the Title, author, publisher,date and library code.The four columns (actually this is your own creativity input) are the pg.number,text quoted,your own paraphrasing and your personal comment. To add the critical aspect, you can further divide the last column or add in another column(s) of your own categories text meaning. For instance, in my pilot case, I may want to highlight the proponents or opponents of recycling programmes as stated in the literature I am reading ,with the evidence or arguments to their stand noted down within the relevant category. This is again within the researchers own research context and the question that he or she has in mind of getting answered. Well, this is of course a more 'elegant'( the word my friend Daniella loves to use )way of organising your notes and journal articles than my current method of just keeping them in the boxes, having small post its with notes on it or whatever have you. That reminds me, I need to be more organised, even in the seemingly simple act of note taking...wish I had learned this method earlier though...oh well, better late than never as they say...

Phd moms

2009-03-15T15:07:00.003+13:00

A friend told me she is really upset with her supervisor for commenting that she seems to be 'spending too much time ' with her family rather than on her phd work. And she is really productive , in my opinion, having already published a few papers, presenting at a few conferences, tutoring etc. I can understand her frustration although I have never been in her exact situation. I mean, being a 'phd mom' is a really challenging if not diffficult position. Not only do you have to complete your academic tasks, you also have to ensure that household matters are well managed, the children are given sufficient attention and everything else.. husband included. Oh well, stress is good because it keeps the adrenalin moving and as Moslems we must always ikhtiar to do the best to our abilities and tawakal to Allah...

Carbon uptake

2009-03-02T17:45:00.002+13:00

Today I cycled to uni. I had to because my husband uses the car to get to work. Personally I prefer to use the bike because I get some excercise and save the environment through less emmision of carbon although I only cycle average once a week he he. Talking of carbon emmision, tomorrow's lab (with the students ) involves some tree height and diameter approximation using the Abney level and compass reading to calculate the carbon uptake of a tree. So Mashi, sorry about your offer to car pool today ok? maybe lusa...

Time

2009-02-26T23:07:00.002+13:00

Just caught the last bit of `Top Chef’ just now. Out of the three `worst’ competitors one had to face elimination. The judges deliberated who should be axed. So who was picked to go? All three dishes from the three worst category were considered `inedible’ by the judges. The first of the worst dish was completed on time, looked presentable but was too spicy. The cook wasn’t careful with the jalapenos (taste like cili padi but about 10 times the size). The second dish was completed on time, looked presentable but was half cooked.. The third was not completed on time, looked presentable but did not exactly taste like a crème boulet should.. Who got eliminated wasn’t my concern. What caught my interest was the way the judges derived the decision through deliberations but in the end relied on one powerful indicator i.e Time..Yes the one who did not plan his time carefully and was thus not on time was eliminated.

Research questions

2009-02-24T00:43:00.000+13:00

Despite having discussed the research framework with my supervisors, I can't help but feel that my research questions are not `deep' enough to enable developing the ideas. To me, the questions are important because they will direct the `flow' of the study, null or validate my assumptions and basically form the basis of my investigations or data collection henceforth.As always, I need guidance and I remembered Trochim's (2006) website. http://www.socialresearchmethods.net/kb/resques.php In it he states that there are 3 types of questions.

They are

1.Descriptive - designed to describe what's going on and what exist

2.Relational - designed to look at two or more variables

3.Causal -designed to determine whether one or more variables (e.g., a program or treatment variable) causes or affects one or more outcome variables.

Hmm...this is a good kind of structure for me to consider in designing and putting more substance in my questions. Come to think of it I can use this frame even for answering future questions posed by my students.Yep...I've decided to reconsider tutoring the Kiwis again this sem...And as for the picture on this post summarising descriptively its a photo of my children in Akaroa, there is no relation between the photo to this post but it does visually affect some people to want to visit New Zealand (I'm sure of it!)

Student evaluation

2009-02-18T15:49:00.006+13:00

Today I received the feedback from the students evaluation for last semester. I was a tutor at my department for a first year degree course paper. The pay is not much, but I guess its good for my CV later...As a tutor (or Teaching Fellow) we have to assist the students in their `lab' work. Lab work relates to assignments which have to be carried as reinforcements to the lectures. In addition to helping them in their assignments and excercises, I had to mark their essay and assignments which totaled 50% of their overall grades. The students at the end of the semester also evaluated my performance....sama macam kat UitM ...borang maklumbalas pelajar tu...

The survey conducted on my performance used a `Likert' type of scale with `1' being strongly disagree' and `5' as Strongly agree'. There were five main questions posed in the survey. The highest score I received was a mean of 4.1 (out of 5) or 71% of the respondents (total n=21)for `lecturers attitude towards students has been good' while the lowest mean score of 2.9 (out of 5) for `able to communicate ideas and information clearly'. In other words, I need to improve on my communication and dissemination of information skills more. When I looked through the survey forms on the section of comments on What change(s) in this tutor's teaching would assist your learning?My students suggestions for me were:
1. `Improve communication skills'
2. `Encourage more comments from students - ask more in depth questions'
3.`ohhhh'
4.`more clear explanations of answers'
5. ` more discussions required'
Hmm...I wonder if I want to continue this semester.... Apa2 pun in my case, ilmu kena didalami lagilah kalau nak terus jadi cikgu di bumi Christchurch ni dan lebih2 lagi nanti bila balik UiTM dihatiku...

Weekends

2009-02-15T11:05:00.003+13:00

Its the weekend. No phd thoughts or work will be attempted for the time being. (Although at times out of nowhere that little thing I've been trying to figure out about a particular aspect of the work crops up suddenly while I'm washing the dishes...).The weekend is about doing the laundry which mostly my dear husband does , sweeping the carpet coz we don't have a vacuum cleaner and washing the toilet and shower cubicle. I also clean the kitchen, take out all the expired'food out from the fridge,compost it in the back garden, dump all the newspaper, `junk mail' the term they use here for all the advertisement brochures, into our new 120 litre recycle bin. I can't wait to get the organic bin next month so all the kitchen waste can go into there.Some times I am just too lazy to do composting in the back garden and I'll have an alternative.It is also the time when I have to cook...which you can guess it, my dear husband does over the weekdays..he not only cooks better than me, he is more creative and rajin sesangat..Alhamdulillah..
Anyway, a friend of ours mentioned about the Chinese Lantern Festival at town and suami dia akan bukak gerai dengan kawan2 Chinese and she ensures me that they use `halal' ingredients..kat Christchurch ni slaughterman ayam brand Brinks (Rolleston) are Muslim brothers...maybe we will go this afternoon...if I can get all the housework done...

Writing Style

2009-02-09T17:06:00.000+13:00

I am now busy (and struggling) with a paper due on Wednesday. Most of my sentences seem to be `passive’. The nice green line underlining my sentences in the Word Document helped me to detect this habitual style of writing. Unfortunately, according to some online guide to writing, this can make writing dull and unexciting. A professor recommended Strunk and Whites `Elements of style’ but I haven’t had the chance to borrow it. So alternatively, I googled the trusty internet and found a website to help. My main criterion was that it should have examples of the bad sentence and the better or improved version one. So today, I opened up and immediately was attracted to the title Common writing problems and how to fix them at http://frank.mtsu.edu/~cdharris/writing-solutions.html. I’m sure you must have other online guides to help. Share with me some other useful webs?

Recycling

2009-02-03T16:03:00.003+13:00

An article in NST titled “Waste Act delayed for the third time” dated 18/1/09 described why this Malaysian Solid Waste Act 2007 is still not implementable. At press time, there is no concrete decision on whether it will be implemented or not. The proposed implementation date is in March 2009.Why am I interested? Partly due to its implications on community participation (in the thesis I’m working on) and the interesting power struggle and political conflict involved. ( Four states under Local Opposition government are opposed to this Federal Act's implementation.)

Anyway, there are 10 points listed on how this will affect our garbage bin but 4 of them are more personally significant to me as a Malaysian.

* Structured garbage collection -- Households will receive a standard 120-litre bin, which can be flipped into collection lorries to prevent leachate spill. House owners would be charged for an overloaded bin.
* Separation at source -- It will be compulsory for home owners to separate their waste into wet and dry waste two to three years after the act is implemented.
Collection for kitchen or wet waste would be done twice a week, while recyclable or dry waste would be collected weekly. Recycle bins will be provided by the government.This will cut the amount of landfill waste by half, extending the lifespan of the sites.
* Encourage higher recycling rate -- The take-back and deposit rebate schemes will encourage people to return recyclable waste like plastic containers for a token sum.
*Plans to make compost out of kitchen waste will be carried out.

I wonder if other Malaysians are excited about receiving their recycle bins. I would...just like Im excited about Christchurch's new 120 litre bin for recyclables that starts its collection next week..I would love to hear any comments...

Words that count

2009-01-27T18:16:00.003+13:00

Reading academic journal papers have exposed me to a lot of new words requiring the service of the dictionary thesaurus. For instance the words, `heuristic',`equivocal' and `anthropogenic' basically mean `a guide',`vague' and `from humans'. Hmm...no wonder this essential excercise takes me double the time...

My husband

2009-01-23T10:11:00.002+13:00

Phd focus. Semalam balik dari ofis I asked my husband about this again.. `Abang should I focus on this or this or that?' Macam biasa dia akan bagi pandangan yang positif, ideas dan encourage me to pursue whatever is on my mind.Selalunya dia yang akan initiate to stop the discussion by saying...oklah....can we discuss this another time..the computer needs to rest...

Why

2009-01-20T10:07:00.003+13:00

Reading the literature and theories are supposed to `enlighten' you more on your research correct?Why do I then, after reading a journal paper or somebody's thesis feel that I am still not on the right track?Why do I then still have this fear that I have not covered (or read) the relevant literature?Why do I feel that I am not focussed? This question is on my mind everytime and two days back I asked this to my friend Henry. Dr Henry is 83 years old and sometimes drops by my office (room). So when he asked me how my progress was and have I been `productive' last year...well ..I said I have not.When I told him the problem and fear that I may have missed out on the correct reading and I feel I am not on the right track,these were what he told me:
1. 'often we read things that have the same meaning but are looked at differently'.
2. when we have chosen a path ( in our research) always ask Why we chose this and try to justify this with answers.When you can justify and this convinces others...(and also yourself)..proceed with this as your focus...well...ok...I'll try...thanks Henry...

Baldwin Street, Dunedin Otago-The steepest street in the world

2009-01-16T23:21:00.006+13:00

Di New Zealand ni selain daripada burung Kiwi terdapat satu-satunya jalan yang tercuram di dunia,Baldwin street dengan gradient 1:2.8. (rujukan Guinness book of records).

Foto kiri tunjuk keadaan sebenar jalan (very steeplah kalau ikut piawaian perancangan bandar...) whereas foto sebelah kanan tu husband ambik secara senget ke kiri untuk buat nampak jalan tu rata...

naik jalan ni macam daki jalan curam kat tepi kolam renang UiTM...kak Puziah (member berenang) mesti ingat...tengok cross section dia..sekadar berkongsi pengalaman...

Phd matters

2009-01-14T13:29:00.006+13:00

Bismillah. Life goes on despite all the hardships the world is facing...

In the process of writing for my Chapter 1 which is Introduction, I came across some materials that really helped me to organise some of my thoughts and to focus on what is of importance. They were from presentation materials, presented by UiTM professors in a workshop I attended in April 2006 on Research Methodology.It was organised by ILQaM, UiTM.There are many helpful tips but these I remembered the most. I'd like to share them with my friends.

Chapter on Introduction basically outlines the research direction. It provides:

1.a brief background to the problem,

2.the problem statement (or hypothesis),

3.the goal and objectives of the study,

4.the scope of work, limitations and finally

5.a brief methodology (Suhaimi Abdul Talib, 2006).

1. In the background chapter, the author of the thesis must chart out what others had done in the field that is being investigated. It could be summarised in a chart...well I am going to add also, in a table form.

2. The problem statement section should follow the Introduction. This explains the current situation,focusing on the shortcomings or problem that needs addressing.It should end with a description of what needs to be done and what the researcher is proposing.

3. The ensuing section is the goals and objectives of the research. According to Suhaimi (2006),this page is the most crucial part of the thesis and many examiners will copy this page while constantly refering to it as they go through the thesis to ensure that the methodology adopted, the resuls presented and the conclusions or findings are consistent with the objectives.The objectives have to be clear, measureable and there has to be an output to verify that the objectives have been fulfilled.This statement is also consistent with my second supervisors advice.

4. The scope of work and brief methodology is to inform the reader the nature of the study,i.e investigations conducted in the lab or field studies, or any computer modeling is involved.This will describe the method (quanti or quali or mixed),sampling locations and types of tests to be conducted (eg. quali-interpretative techniques;quanti - descriptive statistics (Sekaran,2003 p.395,409). Limitations of the study must be declared and finally a brief description of the methodology ( a flowchart is useful, according to Suhaimi(2006)).One of my limitation would be that I will focus only on household waste management and not industrial, scheduled or construction wastes. My main methodology is qualitative data collection through interviews and I will use appropriate nonparametric tests as and when required.One example is the Cochran Q test when data fall into two natural categories (Sekaran 2003,p.406).

Two statements (well maybe three) in the presented material that I found most useful and motivates me is this statement

1. "How to write?"Practice makes perfect (Jasmee Jaafar,2006).I guess that is one function for this blog....

2."Present to inform, not to impress;if you inform, you will impress"(Brooks n.d in Mohd Nasir Taib,2006).

To my friend,Ida (Ida Nianti),well...I hope we can share and can get other tips from you and other friends too....

Sad Event

2009-01-06T23:40:00.002+13:00

Today, the 9th Muharram 1430 is the tenth day of attacks on the Gaza strip.According to Utusan Online, 94 children so far has been killed and many Palestinians including women and children wounded. I feel so distressed by this news. Astaghfirullah..berat mata memandang berat lagi bahu memikul...the images of blood injured and dead children depresses me..but that is the fact.

I hope and pray there will be the much awaited ceasefire soon...but the real issue is how long willl it be before the next bombing and attacks and the killings start all over again...only Allah knows and only time will tell...may Allah s.w.t the Creator of all protect the weak and the innocents...

Happy New Year

2009-01-05T17:41:00.004+13:00

Bismillahirahmaniraheem and Salam Maal Hijrah 1430. This year 2009 marks the beginning of my second year here in Christchurch NZ. Well technically, it would be the 2nd year and 30 days because I arrived in December 2007. I just viewed my friend Anis' blog and she mentioned her New Year's resolutions. As far as I can remember, I have never had any resolution because I just know that I will not be able to keep any of them...

However, I think this year I need to change that. Therefore, my New Year's resolution for 1430 is only that I aspire to be more disciplined in my phd work. InsyaAllah. I would like to share this beautiful Surah 94 (Al-Insyirah) from the holy Quran which is soo encouraging for me translated;

`Have We not expanded your breast?-
And removed from you your burden
Which did gall your back?
And raised high the esteem (in which) you (are held)?
So, surely, with every difficulty, there is relief,
Surely, with every difficulty there is relief.
Therefore, when you are free (from your immediate task), still labour hard,
And to your Lord turn (all) your attention.

Translated by Abdullah Yusuf Ali ,"The Meaning of the Holy Quran"2005,Kuala Lumpur. ISBN 983-9154-74-5

Dunedin

2008-12-24T09:23:00.017+13:00

Last Saturday we went to Dunedin, (pronounced Duneeedun, by the locals) and I must say that this is one of the most beautiful places I have ever visited. Due to time limitation (my husband had to work on Monday) we were only able to visit some places. Some kiwis call this region the 'Scotland of the South' because of the landscape and countryside...kalau orang yang belajar atau pernah visit UK countryside datang sini mesti nampak banyak resemblance..The Otago peninsular was magnificent and we saw one seal, sea kelps and a bunch of albataross and seagulss at the top of Taiaroa Head...but we didnt get to see the yellow eyed penguin though...

We also visited the Larnach Castle located nearby and as always with castles...the tragic suicide of the owner in 1898 lends a mystery to it..

Another very interesting landscape geological feature we were fortunate to visit is the Moeraki boulders in north Otago beac.These very round looking rocks are boulders formed on the sea floor about 60 million years ago..

I am continually amazed at Allah's beautiful creations...

These plants were photograpahed by my daughter Wan Nur Adilah bt Wan Roshdan at the gardens of Larnach Castle,Dunedin Otago NZ. on 21.12.08

Visitors from UKM

2008-12-19T19:31:00.009+13:00

Last Monday our Department had a visit from a group of reseachers/lecturers from Lestari UKM. This research centre set up by UKM consists of many researchers in environmental management,sustainability and development. Researchers,Prof. Emeritus Dato' Dr. Abdul Samad Hadi, Dr. Ahmad Fariz Mohamed,En.Shaharuddin and their Registrar Pn Aniza dropped by to present their papers which they had previously presented in Auckland before arriving in Christchurch. The Pofessor had obtained his Masters from the Dept of Geography UC way back 38 years ago..kalau kira umur masa tu I baru 2 tahun,Prof dah dapat Masters dia...

I had invited them to my small abode for dinner. I also invited a few friends over..Natrah and her husband Asri, Mas and her family and the conversation revolved around many aspects, about his student life when he was a young lad in NZ..as well as their visits.But what struck me about the good and humble professor was his dedication towards the value of education and the importance for our student to always strive for excellence in academics..he also advised that the exposure we obtain from studying overseas is very important in building our confidence and knowledge and we must value this opportunity and any opportunity (the good ones of course) when it comes our way...

To Prof,Dr Fariz,En.Shahruddin,Pn.Aniza and their small entourage..thanks for visiting us...

Ikan Salmon NZ

2008-12-12T15:12:00.018+13:00

Yesterday I followed my friend Mas who is also a post grad at UC to a salmon farm to buy some fish..fresh water salmon of course.The farm was very interesting because:

1.It is actuallly the Harewood quarry in Christchurch but due to increased aquifers (layers of rock containing water) and high water tables (level of ground water)in the Canterbury region, large lakes had formed and contains pure fresh water...and now are utilised to produce at least 170 tonnes of salmon per year..

2.It combines construction with conservation because although this is a construction company,the founder and the trust Sir Isaac Neill Trust maintains the 1000 hectare Peacock Springs wildlife park and area for salmon farming for kiwis and postgrads like me and Mashi to savour the Peacock Salmon...

3. They have a shop on the quarry/farm area to buy salmon and salmon roe (telur ikan salmon!)

Initially we were going to buy just the fish because it was on sale..biasalah kat christchurch ni time-time nak dekat Christmas semuanya ada Sale belake..tapi bila ternampak telur ikan salmon tu tengah murah..beleive it or not satu peket dekat 1kg tu hanya 1NZ dollar ( lebih kurang 2.50RM) apa lagi..terus beli je...

So...here are some pix for my friends...pictures of the salmon ( Peacock Salmon), telur ikan fresh and yang dah digoreng ala-ala tempura gitu..

Supervisors

2008-12-10T16:31:00.002+13:00

After 10 days back in Christchurch I had my next (the 15th actually) meeting with both of my supervisors today. I had for the last two meetings brought some food for the meeting...as a way to promote my culturelah....I had brought some currypuffs (home made by my friend Niza) and brought some muffins I had baked. Actually, I emulated this from a friend of mine (K Puziah who brought some nasi lemak for her supervisors) So at today's meeting I guess they thought I would bring some more food because when I told them I have something for them my senior supervisor said `oh yummy'...However, they were equally surprised when I said `no its not food but some cloth from Malaysia' and my co supervisor quickly identified the two `kain pelekat' which he called `sarong'.. I said yes it is a `male' sarong because the patterns are more simple and masculine like...

As usual, I had brought 2 page report of my pilot study. I amstill transcribing the interviews into text form which then needs to be translated from BM to english....
Anyway, the discussion went well and as always I had my MP3 record the meeting. I find this a very useful tool ( you can also use your handphone or tape recorder) because :
1. You get to listen to the recordings and will notice how you yourself speak and converse in English. Some mispronounciations can be rectified in this manner
2. You get to detect everything that you might have missed if you were just taking notes.Unless your shorthand is excellent..I don't know how to shorthand write...
3. You can train your ears, eyes and fingers for further transcribing work...important aspect for qualitative researches like myself lah...

My supervisors were as expected posing me questions. For this meeting they asked me:
1. Did this pilot study confirm your assumptions or do you think you need to modify your focus?
2. Did the interviewees ( I had a total of 8 interviews) feel that the reserach would be of use to them?
3. Did you sense that they are keen to provide you with more data in the next field work?
4. Was this pilot study helpful in strengtherning your rational for the reserach to be conducted?
5. What did you learn from this excercise?....
6. What next of action are you planning and please include this in your report...

Also I had to submit (after 1 year as a phd candidate in the University of Cantebury) a progress report to the Postgraduate office. In this report, we have to outline all our activities for the past 12 months and rate ourself as either below expectations,satisfactory,good or very good. I just put good..I mean I think I did good...more than satisfactory....Also my supervisors have to rate me too...and at this point in time that I saw on the form...Alhamdulillah...

Any how, I think its important to have a good rapport with your supervisors in this phd journey..it really does make it more enjoyable albeit nerve wrecking .especially before supervisors meetings..for me lah at least...

Cherish our family

2008-11-28T17:10:00.003+13:00

Yesterday I manged to meet up with 2 more officers from MDHS which is in Kuala Kubu Bahru and MDKL in Kuala Langat. The former is located towards the north of Selangor admidst a really cool, green town and is on the way to Frasers Hill while the latter is located to the south fo Selangor towards the seaside town of Morib.

Through the interviews, each local council had some similarities in duties but different perspectives...

Anyway, I had my mom accompany me as my husband is in NZ caring for our our two other children, and it really is nice to have your mom supporting you in this journey. I was reaally getting lazy about this pilot study but my mom reminded me that I was given the funds to complete this assignment, and what will I say to my supervisors next.. ...and she was willing to `teman' me to all theses interesting places..

What can I say.. I am lucky to have a `third' supervisor i.e my mom...

So... cherish your mom ( and of course your other half too and your friends )for all the support and love they give you in this journey...its just too priceless!

Helpful Malaysians

2008-11-25T13:49:00.002+13:00

Yesterday was an extremely good day for me.Alhamdulillah. I had planned to distribute my permission letters to obtain information from the municipalities and prayed that I would get to interiew some officials too. I had called earlier in the morning and the officers were on fieldwork duty or had some other meeting for the day...but my mom advissed me to just submit the letters since I had already prepared them..
So I went to PJ and as always searched frantically for a parking space at the MBPJ open car park...I had made two rounds and was about to give up when this Chinese family waved to me and signed that they were about to leave...so I got a good parking space. As I entered the MBPJ lift, two women joinded me and I smiled to them. I asked them if the deparment of Urban Services were on the 10th floor and one of them said `I am going there too'. Apparently, she was one of the oficers in charge and I quickly asked if I could interview her about my research. She said Yes..Alhamdulillah...we had a good discussion.
After, I proceeded MPS (in Selayang) to submit another letter to the Department of Health and Urban Services and again prayed that I could at least `catch' another officer to be interviewed. The person at the counter attended to me promptly and asked if I could wait because the Director of the Dept were in a discussion. Of course I said yes...and managed to obtain another interview..so far I have interviewed 5 out of 8 urban municipal officers ..i.e 62.5% of the target. I have yet to start on the District councils and will do that today..I pray that I will suceed in this effort

The lesson from yesterday's experience was: Always have faith in God, family and the good nature of human beings....

Process in this PhD journey

2008-11-21T23:01:00.003+13:00

Before I left Christchurch for this pilot study in Selangor, I had made a schedule of the people and authorities I would interview. I had targeted the 12 Local Authorities in Selangor and my supervisors (esp my 2nd.supervisor) had asked me if I would be able to complete this task. I had said `I will try my best' and `I want to be positive about this'. My first supervisor the Professor who graduated from Oxford only looked at me and smiled a little. My second supervisor the younger and more energetic one told me not to be stressed if I did not manage to do all.

After three weeks, I have only managed to interview 3 local officials and 1 ex council member. But 5 enforcement officers turned up for the first interview..so does that count? I'm hoping to interview another local authority official next week ( he is willing to see me despite some reservation - something about getting permission and requiring a letter which is typical Malaysian senario for getting info from local authorities).

The lesson learnt here if you are studying overseas and want to do interview back home(based on my experience lah) are:-
1. Prepare a tentative schedule - not just to impress your supervisors but a manageable one and for guidance
2. Expect that you will face some unforeseen challenges; in my case people may not willing to be interviewed, procedures like the importance of letters of permission, heavy traffic and thunderstorm (yes I had to reschedule one interview because I got stuck in the traffic jam) and
3.In any situation esp the distressing and dissapointing ones, just be patient,think positive and plan to improve the next time around. After all, we can only plan for the best but the AlMighty will dictate the rest.

Anyway, when dealing with local officials to gain information I suggest the following:
1. Make contacts with all, as early as possible before you go back home..either through letters or emails or phone calls ( if you can afford this cost of course)
2. Ask friends or colleagues early if they know officials who you can get in touch with to get the information or data you are going to collect and contact these sources
3. In Malaysia, when calling for the first time to set appointments, do this in the morning rather after lunch ( believe me, I have tested this and the positive results i.e availability of the officer and their willingness to be interviewed all happened when I called them in the morning.)

Anyway, little by little I get the meaning of the phrase many of my friends who have either completed, are currently doing and almost completing their phd ` that is the process that you have to go through'....

Friends and Recycling

2008-11-14T20:59:00.008+13:00

I arrived back home last week and the first things that struck me were the heavy traffic, motorcycles,beautiful baju kurungs and friendly brown faces. Everything looked the same as I had left thenm 11 months ago but somehow seemed more hectic and busy..well we are a developing country and heavy traffic seems to accompany this status. I guess.

I went to Uitm and met up with some of my good friends i.e Zana, K Puziah, Raziah, Mun, Ruby,Ani, Kin, Naasah,K Hazlina, Pn. Hafazah and Dr.Dasimah. They were either busy with their students assignnment and exam papers markings or invigilations but excited to see me just the same. But I also visited my dentist Dr. Eliza and had a full check up ha ha..

I still have two more weeks to go meet up with 10 more Local Officials, to date I have managed to interview enforcement officials from MPK and MPSJ (well I am on a grant to do research work and not just to the dentist)....

I try to separate my wastes at home and inform my mum that recycling is soo important..at the moment we put all the mails and adverts in one plastic bag, the plastic bottles in one container and the kitchen waste into another.. now I just need to find the nearest neighbourhood recycling bins.... I know there is a bin (the three coloured bins) at the primary school nearby...but I think the Alam Flora collectors who collect our rubbish 3 times a week will know where to recycle them ...I think will need to interview them too...

I also encourage my friends to go with recycling and I think they try their best. I inform them that it is easy to separate their wet and dry waste and the alam Flora collectors can sell the recylclables and gain some income.

3R-Reduce,Reuse and Recycle

2008-10-29T17:31:00.006+13:00

I have always thought that the 3R were the same kinds of behaviour or practice but after reading a few journal papers, I realised that I was wrong. It seems that each behaviour is influenced by slightly different things or in academic terms, variables. To recycle, one's behaviour must be encouraged while to reduce and reuse, one's behaviour must be enhanced. For example, a 4 month survey of households in Exeter UK in 1999 found that people are more willing to recycle if the activity is convenient to them regardless of their environmental values ,awareness or experience in recycling. The study showed evidence that the principal determinants of a willingness to recycle are accepting the norm to recycle ( mandatory enforcement by law?),the convenience of recycling sites (kerbside or door to door collection) knowledge of facilities ( where a bin is located-infra etc) and `active concern'.In other words people are more willing to recycle if those around them do as well such as neighbours, friends and peers. in Another `new' variable to consider is `house type'. This last variable is related to a study by UNDP and Penang Govt 2006 that indicated people living in high rise dwellings i.e apartment can be considered `potential adopters'. This is interesting because a study by Murad and Siwar (2007) found that residents in low cost flats in KL most common reason to not recycle is because they `don't have time to sort,save and transport materials'.

On the other hand, reducing and reusing behaviour is more complicated and that it appears that this is essentially values based. In other words, concern for the environment, awarenes of the threat of waste problem leading to an obligation to act are important in enhancing the willingness to reduce and reuse. (I guess or assume that people who reduce and reuse are already recycling?)It was further interesting to read that in some North American cases, this argument does not hold. But I will post this in another day.

The message here is that to recycle,
1. you don't need much knowledge or experience (it helps) but like my friend K Puziah always say `just do it'.
2. As in Exeter, according to the researchers, persuading people of the value in recycling is not an issue but persuading and showing them that it is simple and convenient with relevant information seems to be far more important.
3.In the Malaysian case, getting payment for the recyclables is a major persuasive factor.
4. And I guess if the new Malaysian SolidWasteManagementPublicCleansing 2007 Act enforces mandatory recycling in two years time in Malaysia...our recycling rate can surely increase from 3% (2007) to the proposed what 20% by 2020?
5. Our recycling behaviour while in this western country may actually wane or decrease..I hope not...

Tiger worms and a piece of good news

2008-10-23T14:39:00.005+13:00

This morning I opened my email and received a piece of good news. My request to the department for funding to go back was approved! The research grant would cover my flight ticket, a conference in Singapore (the ISWA 2008) and basic expenses. I was a little worried that I wouldn't get it but Alhamdulillah...now I need to plan and prepare so many stuff I just don' know where to start...
I was planning this weekend to grow a small worm garden to replace my compost heap ( the nice birdies are always messing this) and ternak some `Tiger worms' (Eisenia Fetida species) as the composting agent...which I hear are voracious kitchen waste eaters...maybe Ilham could take care of the worms while I'm away..after all..I need to `walk the talk' if I'm determined to propose practical waste minimisation practices as part of doing this research right?

Another woman's thought

2008-10-21T12:32:00.005+13:00

As part of doing my research, I looked through the New Zealand Wastebuster web page http://www.zerowaste.co.nz to see how a community in Ashburton, Canterbury NZ http://www.wastebusters.net.nz/had been successful in their effort as a community to promote waste as a valuable resource and a source of employment opportunities for many people. The effort was initiated in 1994 by two women who volunteered and developed a programme for the 28 schools in Ashburton about how waste (from households or office and schools) can be diverted into resource through 3R (reduce,reuse and recycle) and composting (turning kitchen waste into baja). Their effort to shift the mindset from `rubbish to resource' was so successful that it is now a model of a successful partnership between the community and the local council towards zero waste for other communities in Canterbury to follow. Employment was created, waste continues to be minimised, landfill life spans can be prolonged, expensive incinerators can be avoided, (remember Broga), the environment benefits...

I also came across this phrase from Margaret Mead (1901 - 1978) American anthropologist, author, lecturer, one of the most influential female thinkers in the social sciences. She said:

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful concerned citizens can change the world. Indeed it is the only thing that ever has...

I hope one day the communities in my home state of Selangor can be like this community in Ashburton too...by the way last week we visited the Domain Park Cherry blossoms in Ashburtonand they were magnificent....

Things to ponder

2008-10-17T16:10:00.003+13:00

At our weekly department seminar I had the opportunity to listen to 2 professors, one from Wellington Uni (Prof. Phil Morrison) and the other from Auckland Uni (Prof. Mark Gahegan)talk about their on going research. The first prof talked about `Neighbourhood effects' and that there are 3 types of effects.They are the `endogenous effect' , `exogenous effect' or spillover and correlated effects (Manski 1993). This first presentation was I think very deep in thought but the second presentation about how `knowledge' keeps no better than fish and something must be done about it! was amusing and so true ...he described 2 things to us. First was that the more we do research the more we don't know the answers to everything under the sun, and the second was that the knowledge of anything researched was normally to satisfy the researcher but forgot the reader or the general public...so the lesson learned here is that when we do our research it should be able to be used or referred to by the lay person and that we should not `keep' the knowledge just for us...like the fish...it needs to be shared and enjoyed by everyone...ikan bakar cicah air asam sedaap...

Demi Masa

2008-10-09T15:57:00.002+13:00

This morning, the 9th of Syawal I received a text message from my friend Shuha. She informed me that a dear professor has passed away this morning. I felt sad that someone who has contributed and helped so many students (including me) has returned to our Creator.. but Allah knows best. The thing was, he arrived here in Christchurch last week from Malaysia and I had the opportunity to visit him but was too busy preparing for other things...

Tonight after Maghrib InsyaAllah we will recite the Yasiin and tahlil at the Mosque at Lincoln Rd for Allahyarham...Al Fatihah...

Aidilfitri 2008 christchurch

2008-10-09T12:41:00.004+13:00

Last Wednesday 1st of October 2008 I celebrated my first Aidilfitri or Eid ul Fitri here in Christchurch New Zealand with my husband and our two sons without our daughter who is studying in Malaysia who spent the Eid with her grandma in PJ. We went to the Mosque on Dean's Avenue (Masjid AnNur Christchurch) to perform the Eid Prayers on a bright and sunny 1st of Syawal. I had looked forward to this day but when we approached the mosque and heard the takbir I felt a little melancholy that I couldn't be with my other family members especially my mom...Salam Aidilfitri and Maaf Zahir Batin from win and family

Terawih

2008-09-28T23:24:00.003+13:00

Last Saturday my good mate Mashi invited us to break fast together at the mosque in Lincoln Rd. It was the 28th day of Ramadhan for most of us. Since the start of the holy month of Ramadhan I have not had the chance to break fast or solat Terawih at any of the mosques (there is another mosque at Dean's Avenue). I preferred to break fast in the comfort of my home and Terawih at my own pace. I was also quite hesitant because I had not washed my telekung(a piece of cloth normally used by Moslem women to cover themselves during solat or prayers). Although it was clean it didn't smell as fragrant as if it had been washed..if you know what I mean..

Anyway, I went to the mosque with my family and after iftaar ( breaking of fast) we did the Maghrib,Isyak,Terawih and Witr as a jemaah ( group). As I observed their faces,featuresand conversation, I gathered that they were Moslem women from all over the world, New Zealanders, Afghanistan, Pakistan, the Middle east,Malaysians and other south eastern ladies.I I felt the sense of camarederie after we salaam and hugged after each solat. Since in solat jemaah we have to ensure the saf (or line) is not broken i.e there is no gap in the line, I was always changing saf and moved to fill in the gap. Doing this a few times I soon moved from the back right to the front of the women's saf.

We managed Alhamdulillah to complete the Terawih and Witir soon after. I felt I had accomplished something for which initially I had a reservation...you know I mentioned about the comfort of my home and the state of my telekung...

The next morning at solat Suboh with my hubbie as the Imam in the comfort of my home I noticed something quite surprising. My telekung smelled so sweet...it had a kind of rose and citrus smell to it...I asked my husband to take a whiff at the telekung and he said nonchalantly...'yes it smells nice..lets solat'

Later I thought about last night at the mosque and wondered maybe my telekung had contracted the fragrance after being so close with so many beautiful ladies ...Im not sure...

Tutoring

2008-09-24T16:54:00.003+12:00

As part of being a phd student/candidate, we are very much encouraged to be Teaching Fellows or Teaching Assistants in the labs/tutorials and here in the Department of Geog I am just one of those. I took this job because of my 2nd supervisor's encouragement. He thinks that it would be useful for me as I will be able to improve my communication skills and be able to discuss a lot of things with the students. I didn' know what to expect. The first few weeks were alright as I had a very helpful lab partner, Rijal (a phd candidate from Indonesia) who is an expert ( having been a TF for sometime)..as he did most of the discussing..and then came the marking of the assignments. I did not expect that my comments, grammar editing and suggestions would be challenged but last week when I gave them their assignments back...a minority were dissatisfied and argued. Of course the easy way out would be to succumb to their demands ( of increasing their marks) but I managed to explain to them how I divided the marks and found out that discussing and explaining in rational terms do have a positive impact. I realise that a teacher's job is not just to teach the basics or relay the knowledge to the students but to be able to listen and communicate well with the students. But its just very challenging for me to not insert any Bahasa Malaysia words when Im speaking with them being Kiwi and international...but I found out that speaking English at a slightly slower pace while using correct grammar works well for me...I just hope I will be able to improve on my communication skills and meantime there is another student assignment to mark...

Trip to Auckland

2008-09-13T17:32:00.003+12:00

I had an invitation to attend a BRCSS conference for new migrants to NZ in Auckland City form 9-11 Sept 2008. New migrants include those who gain residentships in NZ under various categories include PRs and refugees who want to seek a better life in this country with the clean and green image. It was good networking and I made many friends ( who surprisingly are mostly from Hong Kong and China ( I know..HK is a part of China too).Met with Prof Ng and his concept of `Stayer', Returnee and `Transnational' made an impact to me..A `stayer' may be somebody who has studied in NZ or any other country and decides to stay but may become a `Returnee' i.e return to his or her home country having finished his or her studies or after several years working but eventually may become a `Transnational' later in his or her career i.e move from one country to another. I was just thinking about which category I am in and I am definitely a `Returnee', as they say `Home is where the heart is'

Thought for today

2008-09-08T21:07:00.002+12:00

Whenever I think about my friends here and back home, I just can't get the words `In the end, only kindness matters'...by Jewel out of my head..strange..

Quote for today

2008-08-28T15:12:00.000+12:00

Knowledge is of two kinds: that which is absorbed and that which is heard. And that which is heard does not profit if it is not absorbed. - Ali ibn abi Talib
(radiAllah anhu)

Quote for today

2008-08-25T15:05:00.004+12:00

Knowledge focuses on what we possess in our heads but knowing focuses on our interactions with the things of the social and physical world ( Cook and Brown 1999).

Quote for today

2008-08-13T11:09:00.002+12:00

Are we doing things right or are we doing the right things? (Flood and Romm 1996)

Thought for today

2008-07-28T16:59:00.001+12:00

Everything in its place or a place for everything

Thought for today

2008-07-11T13:36:00.002+12:00

"Is the pure and simple truth rarely pure and simple?"

2008-07-08T10:42:00.004+12:00

July 8 2008

This morning I bumped into my supervisor in the mail room and he said `your proposal has been approved by the Dean..and could you please hand me a copy please' in his usual tone of voice..I'm not sure whether he feels happy or not for me..I guess he is but maybe he is so used to this that this has become too ordinary for him. As for me..I feel pleased and am grateful to my Creator who is Al Kareem`The Generous One'...